


Pink Chaos Emerald

by msrosey (berbaric)



Series: Ultimate Wife Form [4]
Category: Sonic the Hedgehog - All Media Types
Genre: F/M, Grief/Mourning, Guilt, Heavy Angst, Protectiveness, Self-Hatred, Some Plot, To Be Continued, aka Shadow's constant companion
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-05
Updated: 2020-09-05
Packaged: 2021-03-06 22:34:33
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,242
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26296501
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/berbaric/pseuds/msrosey
Summary: Too slow. The Ultimate Lifeform, and he had been too slow.
Relationships: Amy Rose/Shadow the Hedgehog
Series: Ultimate Wife Form [4]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1896115
Comments: 4
Kudos: 46





	Pink Chaos Emerald

**Author's Note:**

> At the cost of sounding like a broken record, feel free to dive into the shadamy on my [tumblr!](https://msrosey.tumblr.com/)

After the initial blast of light, there’s a moment where everything is quiet. A dull pounding makes its way through his skull and crescendos into a cacophony of pain as Shadow lifts himself from the floor’s rubble on shaking fists. Once up, he just stares blankly at the empty space in the laboratory before him. 

A blue streak - “Shadow? Shadow, that you? I heard the explosion, is everything alright?”

Shadow can’t focus his eyes at the shifting blue figure beside him, gaze caught by the room’s lack of other inhabitants. His hands are shaking and several fingers are most certainly broken. He barely feels it. His chest feels like it's been hollowed out with a spoon. 

“Hey—Shadow? Anybody there?” 

“Shadow!”

“Sonic, you’re here!”

More voices crowd around him, blurs of pink and yellow and Shadow can’t move. The dust clears enough that he can survey the area before him, a mess of broken glass and bent metal mixed with the rubble of stone and — a flash of gold and red. 

A surge of self-loathing rips through Shadow and he sucks in a stale breath, wanting to bend in two from the force of the feeling. Someone must note his distress because there’s a hand on his shoulder, the one not hanging limp and useless at his side, and a soft voice in his ear

“Shadow, are you alright? You’re starting to scare me,” the voice says, caring and soft enough that he blinks a little of his numbness away, only for it to come flooding back once the figure becomes clear. Not her. 

Rogue looks as worried as he’s ever seen her. “Did something happen? Shadow?”

He opens his mouth to answer but the words die on his lips, heart stuttering at the thought of verbalizing what has happened. What he’s failed to do. Couldn’t even fess up to the consequences of his actions, never good enough to protect—

An odd noise fills the air and it takes a moment for Shadow to realize it’s coming from him, but by that moment he’s already broken free from those around him and is now digging frantically in the rubble. His useless arm screams at every movement but he blocks it out like the voices behind him, tossing away bent rebar and brittle concrete alike to get to the item trapped within. 

“Shadow…”

“W-whats going on, Sonic?"

“Okay. He’s gone nuts. Who else saw this coming?” The callousness of the words themselves are offset by the concern in the speaker’s voice and Shadow wants to tell them all to shut up. 

He doesn’t want concern. He doesn’t want care. He doesn’t want to _fucking exist anymore if he’s responsible for another—_

The last piece of rubble is cleared away and Shadow stills, just as everyone else takes the hint and follows. 

There’s a low voice, “Is that Amy’s…”

The sound of her name, the very intonation of it is enough for Shadow to snap, pounding a broken fist against the ground and gritting his teeth so hard he can feel his jaw lock. It’s still not enough, not nearly enough, a fool’s levee to the flood of disgust and shame that well up at the knowledge that…it's the last time that name will ever be used in the current tense. 

It takes a few more moment for things to sink in. There’s a slow intake of breath, a choked sob, a soft, “No…”

Then Shadow doesn’t hear much of anything because he’s being slammed against the crumbling foundations by a furious savior of the planet. _“What happened?”_

Sonic eyes are manic, alight with that special flame of theirs that only sparks when his close circle are threatened. His voice is low, “What did you do, _Shadow?_ Huh?” He slams Shadow against another wall, this one on the far side of the laboratory, speed taking him seconds. “Where’s Amy?”

Shadow lets himself be pushed around, sharp corners of the wall digging into every bruise and cut he’s sustained and it’s still not enough. He keeps his face placid as the other hedgehog’s fury only builds. He knows he deserves this. He wants it to be worse.

“Sonic, stop! Please! Come back!” 

Shadow doesn’t break his gaze from Sonic’s, watching as the hedgehog’s face shifted between righteous anger to desperate hope to a shuttered look of absolute betrayal that he sends towards Shadow just as he lets go. It’s an ugly emotion Shadow knows he deserves. He focuses on it as the blue hedgehog races back to his friends. 

Shadow just lets gravity do its work and falls to the ground, leaning back against the crumbling wall. He wishes gravity would finish the job and send him as low as he felt, but there’s consequences to be suffered through. And he’s never been a coward. 

He closes his eyes but can never do the same with his ears, picking up every word of the hushed conversation at the other end of the ruined laboratory. 

“It’s her hammer….but where is Amy? And the jewel...” 

A sniffle. Shadow tenses his muscles suddenly. He hadn't even realized the young rabbit was here. Another spectator to his failure, this one a complete innocent whose mind is undoubtedly being warped beyond repair. The hollow ache in his chest grows. 

Cream’s voice is small, "Mr. Sonic, was there ever a pink chaos emerald?”

The silence is her only answer. Shadow knows he’ll have to speak soon, share what he knows of Eggman’s latest plot to harness Chaos energy in physical form and how he’d planned to use the Ultimate Life Form as his first test subject, for his chaos affinity and superior genetics. 

Heh. Some Ultimate Lifeform. 

An Ultimate Lifeform that couldn’t even break out of a simple energy field. An Ultimate Lifeform whose bones had broken easily enough under the weight of Amy’s hammer, when she’d used it to launch him free from the containment pod just seconds before the Chaos laser had gone off. An Ultimate Lifeform too weak to make it those final few steps back in time to move her out of the way of the now armed cannon.

Shadow clenches his wrecked fists, screwing his face up in a look of sheer self-loathing. The Ultimate Lifeform. Too slow. Too _fucking_ slow. That is what the Ultimate Lifeform was. Or maybe a living weapon is the better thing to call him. 

Has always been the better thing to call him. 

The breath that leaves Shadow then is shaky, but only a pale echo of the grief choked sobs echoing from the other side of the lab. That are his fault, indiscriminate weapon that he is. He forces himself to listen to every gasp, every tear soaked hiccup, eyes pressed so tight he can pretend they aren't wet. He knows he has to get up, talk to them, accept his lashes, but there’s an image blazoned on the back of his eyelids he can’t seem to break away from. An image he’ll carry with him always, every time he blinks, every time he rests, every time he dares lower his guard. A look. _The_ look. 

The look that had been on her face as she’d turned and realized what was about to happen, the brief moment her eyes met his. The hauntingly familiar expression in them. 

_Acceptance._

Shadow wishes the people in his life he would die to protect would stop doing the same for him.


End file.
